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Healing People, Not PatientsWhat if medical encounters were meetings of two human beings, together forming a covenant to achieve healing?

Inside the Book

Take a peek inside Healing People, Not Patients to see how you figure into the message.

For People

Being sick or getting well doesn’t define you – it’s one thing among many in your life. Wouldn’t it be great if you could get healthcare that recognized that?

For Healers

You didn’t go into this line of work to be a “service provider.” You don’t hook up internet connections, you heal human beings. It’s time to reclaim that territory.

For Change

Whether you are a person struggling with an illness, or a healer struggling to help that person heal, the way things are in healthcare today doesn’t make it easy. What might the future look like?

Healers Who Listen

Come explore how you can be a part of the solution.


3,000 years of Jewish wisdom, 3,000 people seeking healing, and one nice Jewish doctor with messy, curly hair trying to use one to make sense of the other. Take two stone tablets and call me in the morning?

One Thing I Ask

If you could only ask me one question, what would it be?

It sounds like a party game, a conversation starter designed to get people talking at a speed dating event or a team-building exercise.  But sadly it’s the way most people’s encounters with their healers go these days.  For all practical purposes, there is a “one question per visit rule.”  Better make it a good one.

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The Same Joy

Remarks from a “FEDTalk” given at the annual meeting of the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh, September 5, 2019.

It was the morning of March 17th.  48 hours earlier, a co-worker had alerted me to the horrible terror attack in Christchurch, New Zealand.  I had been in a fog ever since.  The young Syrian man across from me stared at the floor and told me, “I watched the video online – he wasn’t showing any emotion.  He was shooting people like it was a video game.”

Less than five months out from our own communal tragedy, I thought I had begun to heal myself.  Christchurch ripped open the wounds – his memories of the catastrophic disintegration of his home country into civil war, and mine of the loss of dear friends, colleagues, and co-workers, and of my illusion of being secure in our wonderful Jewish community. 

It was a conversation particular to the Squirrel Hill Health Center.  While we are not a “Jewish health center,” SHHC grew out of the Jewish Healthcare Foundation, is a Federation beneficiary, and in many ways is a living legacy to Montefiore Hospital’s tradition of serving all of the underserved communities of Pittsburgh.  Those underserved include refugees and immigrants whose language, culture or religion serves as a barrier to care in many places.  SHHC was also where our late, beloved friend Richard Gottfried worked until the day before he was killed while davening with his community at New Light. 

I suppose I’ve known for years that a conversation like this would happen one day.  Last fall, just a month before the 18th of Cheshvan upended all our worlds, I reached a major career milestone.  My book, Healing People, Not Patients, was finally published thanks to generous support from the Jewish Healthcare Foundation.  The premise of the book is simple: people who heal for a living are in a relationship or, as Rabbi Harold Schulweis suggested, a covenant with people seeking healing.  Thinking of those seekers first and foremost as people, created in God’s image, demands a completely different approach to healthcare than our current model that often reduces a person’s identity to their diagnosis or even their room number.

The most crucial skill in this covenant is the ability to listen attentively to another person’s story, and to ask them questions out of genuine interest in knowing more.  My friend Martin often admonishes me not to ask questions I don’t want to know the answer to.  Well, in the aftermath of a tragedy, I don’t want to know the answers.  I’m not sure I can handle the answers anymore.  Yet those answers are the key to helping the other person heal.  What was I supposed to do?

My young Syrian friend is not the only person I care for to have experienced trauma.  “Trauma-informed care” is one of the newest buzz-words in healthcare, and especially in mental health.  But Dr. Megan Gerber, author of the first textbook on trauma-informed care for primary care docs like me, distills this buzzword into a stark realization: depending on where you are, a history of trauma can be nearly ubiquitous.  Consider the SHHC team to be fully informed.

What isn’t ubiquitous is what grows out of that history.  Gerber makes the point that people who have been traumatized may be angry and frightened, jumping at a touch or snapping at every perceived verbal micro-aggression, even when the intent of that touch is to soothe or that speech is to counsel.  Others bury the trauma almost as soon as it occurs. 

Trauma can lead to chronic pain and disability: a back bent into the shape of the lowercase letter “r” which bows even further on the yahrzeit of a lover.  At the other end of the spectrum, health workers whose patient dies in mid-shift return to work within minutes.  I debriefed after my first experience of a patient’s death in the stairwell of the VA hospital only because the intern supervising me took two minutes to stop and check on me as we ran past each other in opposite directions. 

Jewish tradition prescribes a middle path.  We find triumph in tragedy, and remember tragedy in moments of triumph.  The chevra kadisha, of which our community is blessed to have two that work in cooperation and respect, does a tahara using texts comparing the deceased to a bride, or to the Kohen Gadol.  The mashiach is going to be born on Tisha B’Av.  The broken glass at a wedding tempers our joy with a memory of Tisha B’Av.  And at one point in history, that wedding was likely arranged on the afternoon of Yom Kippur, when the life of each Jewish soul is hanging in the balance. 

Saturday, November 3, 2018, the 25th of Cheshvan, when 1500 people crowded the sanctuary at Beth Shalom to mourn and daven together, we ended Kiddush by celebrating the sheva brachot of our Rabbi, Jeremy Markiz, and his wife Elana Neschkes.  They married on the 19th of Cheshvan in Los Angeles, and bound by the mitzvoth to rejoice that entire week, even in the wake of unspeakable tragedy.  If it is possible to be both broken and restored in the same moment it happened to me as I struggled to sing for the bride, “Kol sasson v’kol simcha, kol chatan v’kol kalah.”

Remember that stark realization about the ubiquity of trauma?  Megan Gerber reminds us healers of an even more stark truth: many if not most of us have also been traumatized.  We not only need to be broken and restored in the same moment – we need to be broken and restore others in the same moment.  Gerber might well paraphrase my friend Martin and say, “Don’t asked questions if you’re not fully prepared to deal with the answers you get.”  But we had to be prepared; we had to continue. 

The weeks and months that followed the shooting were a pendulum swinging between attending to the pain and suffering of those we had always cared for, and tending to our own wounds.  There was Rich’s funeral, the cookie trays and lunches, the Bhutanese community vigil, the outreach from JFCS.  Despite their own vulnerabilities, their limited English, their own emotional exhaustion, the seekers were now healing the healers.  Their example inspired what I am going to share with you now.

Fans of medical Latin may have heard the term furor therapeuticus, a term the great teachers of medicine often apply to their students who simply cannot stand to leave a problem un-fixed, often to the great detriment of the person with that problem.  The golden age of medicine that dawned in the sixties and continues to this day filled many of us with the belief that every disease could be cured, every hurt healed, and even death made optional.  We learned to say, “No one needs to be in pain.”

As we become trauma-informed we are learning to say, like Rosey Grier, “It’s all right to cry.”  Healers like me who have never really learned properly to shut up now recognize that it’s also all right not to have an answer to the crying.  We just need to name it, and be present with it, and share the tears. 

Pittsburgh Jews are now trauma-informed whether we like it or not, aware of both the ubiquity of trauma experienced by others, and of our own inability to escape trauma ourselves.  It seems preposterous that after 2,000 years we should need to be reminded of the ubiquity of trauma, but individual memory is short. It’s hard for one person to remember what it’s like to be a “stranger” when we are no longer feeling so “strange.” Now, our own immediate experience parallels that of those we support, and of those we try to heal.

Erica Brown, who came to comfort our community on the shloshim, and who will return here later this month for the Fall Forum, takes exception to the five-stage Elisabeth Kubler-Ross paradigm of grief.  In her book Happier Endings, Brown contends that there are really only three stages: denial and resignation, which encompass all five of Kubler-Ross’s original stages, and inspiration, in which a new life is formed, absent that which was lost, yet incorporating it into something greater which did not exist before the loss.

The inspiration stage is digging into that parallel experience to help others.  Before the shooting I would sometimes ask myself, “What can I learn from my patients who have survived war trauma and are thriving that could help others who are not?”  Now I am looking at myself, asking how we might help each other. 

Answers are already emerging: by returning support to our Muslim neighbors who rushed to our aid in October.  By sending letters to the survivors of the more recent tragedies in Poway, Dayton, Gilroy, El Pason, and now Odessa-Midland.  By tapping the resource of our Holocaust survivor community to support our Hillel JUC students, or to partner with SHHC to help Bhutanese refugees process their own tragic losses.

This is variation of the phenomenon known as “concordance:” people build more trust and experience greater healing with a healer who is similar to them in gender or ethnicity.  In the Talmud, Nedarim 39b, Rav Aha bar Hanina speaks of a different kind of concordance, necessary for effective healing when visiting a sick person – to be “ben gilo.”  One translation is that this means to be of the same astrological sign, but as always, there are other ways to read this. 

Gil – age.  One of the same age may be more of a comfort that someone too young or old. 

Gil – joy.  One of the same temperament, who enjoys same things, can provide greater comfort than someone with whom we have nothing in common. 

Gill’galot, to reveal.  If we are vulnerable, broken, and willing to share that vulnerability with the others, we connect in a way that armored stoicism and charmed innocence do not allow. 

Glu’im – exposed.  The media encampment last fall left us exposed, but in that exposed vulnerability is our strength, our newfound ability to be there for each other. 

L’galot – to discover, strength we did not know we had. 

Gilinu, we discovered this year what we already knew.

We are surrounded by bnei gileinu, our friends and neighbors with whom we have a special, Pittsburgh concordance. 

Bo’u ngaleh, let us show the rest of the city and the world what we have to share with them.

Facial Recognition

I catch a half-smile, a hesitant wave, and a curt nod, and I realize I am supposed to recognize this person.  I return the gestures, but my memory refuses to be jogged.  Finally, they approach me close enough for conversation, and say, “Dr. Weinkle, how are you?”  After caring for a few thousand people in the course of my career, I cannot hold all the names and faces in my head any longer.  “I’m so sorry,” I reply, “please remind me of your name.”

The double-edged sword of “recognizing faces”
From https://thepioneeronline.com/category/metro/

If only I had chosen to be a judge.  According to the Torah, they’re not supposed to recognize faces – it says so right in Deuteronomy 16:19, when Moses is explaining the meaning of “judge the people with righteous judgment.”  Among other things, he says, “thou shalt not respect persons,” meaning not to show favor to a rich person because of their status, or to a poor person out of pity.  Equal treatment under the law is the meaning of righteous judgment.  But the Hebrew phrase that he uses to say this is lo takir panim – literally, “don’t recognize faces.”

But healers aren’t supposed to be blind like justice, are we?  We’re not meant to be impartial – we are meant to be completely partisan advocates for our own patients.  Haven’t I written a whole book, and dozens of blog entries, about how I want my colleagues to feel a certain amount of love for the people we care for, to really care instead of just “providing care?”

Knowing the face, being familiar with the person, is the essence of individualized, person-centered care.  You can’t be a “healer who listens” without understanding the uniqueness, “recognizing the face,” of the person you’re listening to.  By extension, you can’t know which person needs hand-holding and which one humor, which one deliberation and which one decisiveness, unless you know their “face,” the way they prefer to interact with the world.

But when you have a busy practice, how many faces can you “know?”  Can I be fully present for every single one of them, know all their preferences and tailor all my treatments to their needs?  Does every one of them get my equal passion?  Or are there a few faces that inevitably end up getting more attention?

Put another way, like that encounter on the street, there may be a limit to the faces I can recognize at one time.  So which faces am I going to end up seeing?

Over 11 years of my career I’ve seen myself default in a whole variety of directions.  Sometimes I “see the faces” of the people who happen to be in the office that day, to the detriment of those calling in from home.  Other days I dive into the first appointment of the day with 1000% commitment, only be insurmountably behind schedule by 4 pm, unable to see the faces of the last two or three people on the day’s schedule.  Still others, I am so consumed by the faces whom I can’t get out of my head at night, from the constant worry about their well-being, that the simple needs of the faces who just need a moment of my time are never seen.  And yes, sometimes I recognize the faces of the squeaky wheels and spend my time putting grease on them while the patient patients continue to languish.

My children might tell you that this arrangement is OK, because they’ve often heard me tell them, “Fair doesn’t mean equal.”  Not everybody gets the same amount of something, and that can be OK – but only if everyone gets the appropriate amount for them. 

“Recognizing faces” can have consequences beyond just how we allot our time, though.  Recognizing certain faces, and failing to recognize others, directly impacts the care that we provide.  We’ve all seen a child in pain; most of us who have our own children can even tell when they are really in pain and when they are simply shocked and betrayed that one of their siblings has whacked them with the broom.  Yet somehow when black children come into the emergency room with appendicitis, we find their pain harder to recognize than that of white children.[i]

Recognition often becomes easier when the face is one that looks like our own, a phenomenon called concordance.  There’s evidence that concordance can significantly improve care, reducing alcohol consumption in the aftermath of a traumatic injury, or leading to more rapid follow up of abnormal cancer screenings in populations where the patients and physicians are from the same background, where looking in the healers face feels a little more like looking in the mirror.[ii]  Recognizing faces can save lives, too.

Still other times the recognition can go too far.  We may be loath to admit it, but all of us have at some point cared for a person who was a “VIP patient,” whether a close friend, a famous person, or someone with an “in” at our place of employment that made them feel entitled to more expensive, more rapid, or more cutting-edge care than the other patients.  If we’re going to talk about recognition, let’s recognize what’s going on when we do a test we know doesn’t need to be ordered, acquiesce to a demand for an antibiotic or an opioid that isn’t called for, or change our practice that we do the same way, every time, “just this once” because we give too much recognition to one particular face. 

Orchot Tzadikim (a text from the musar, or ethical, tradition of Judaism) relates how learned people can shame the very holy texts they are studying when they do not act accordingly.  The example given is of when one studies the line, “You shall not be prejudiced in favor of the mighty,” but then does show favor to a wealthy person in court.  When we study the evidence and learn best practices, then toss them out the window when caring for a VIP patient, we bring shame on medicine as well.

There’s no easy way out of this conundrum.  When I wrote in Healing People, Not Patients about creating my worry list, I wondered how I could ethically, fairly decide who I was sufficiently worried about to put them on the list.  I initially wrote that chapter three years ago; I’m still struggling with the question.  How do you create the oxymoron of “universally individualized care?”  How do you do the “right thing, for the right patient, at the right time, in the right way,” to quote the patient safety mantra, without inevitably having your individual relationship with the patient push someone else out of the way, or cause you to behave differently for that patient than you would?

While you think that over, I’m going to go grease some squeaky wheels.

[i] Goyal, MK et al. Racial Disparities in Pain Management of Children With

Appendicitis in Emergency Departments. JAMA Pediatr. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2015.1915

Published online September 14, 2015.

[ii] Poma, PA.  Race/Ethnicity Concordance Between Patients and Physicians.  Journal of the National Medical Association, 2017-03-01, Volume 109, Issue 1, Pages 6-8.  Poma cites numerous other studies in his review; the two referenced here are by Field and Caetano and by Charlot, Santana, Chen et al.